Guilty & Ashamed.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Manchester
Posts: 9
Guilty & Ashamed.
Hello everybody,
I'm new to all this, I've never used a forum before but think it will be very helpful to share and listen to stories with other users who understand the pain associated with drinking.
Im a binge drinker. Once I pop I can't stop, until I literally cannot physically lift a glass to my mouth anymore. I went on a bender last night. I feel disgusting, ashamed of the things I could've done/said, panicky, and incredibly guilty. A couple of months ago I was attacked and raped by a stranger whilst walking (more like stumbling) home from a heavy night out. I thought I would hav learned by lesson by now.
I need to break this circle and have come to terms with the fact that I cannot drink responsibly and therefore would like to be able to abstain from alcohol indefinitely. Best wishes to you all on your road to recovery.
I'm new to all this, I've never used a forum before but think it will be very helpful to share and listen to stories with other users who understand the pain associated with drinking.
Im a binge drinker. Once I pop I can't stop, until I literally cannot physically lift a glass to my mouth anymore. I went on a bender last night. I feel disgusting, ashamed of the things I could've done/said, panicky, and incredibly guilty. A couple of months ago I was attacked and raped by a stranger whilst walking (more like stumbling) home from a heavy night out. I thought I would hav learned by lesson by now.
I need to break this circle and have come to terms with the fact that I cannot drink responsibly and therefore would like to be able to abstain from alcohol indefinitely. Best wishes to you all on your road to recovery.
I'm really sorry that happened to you panrose.
I hope you've got or are looking for the right kind of support for dealing with such a horrible traumatic event.
I know you'll find a lot of support here though in your quest to be alcohol free - you're among friends here
Welcome!
D
I hope you've got or are looking for the right kind of support for dealing with such a horrible traumatic event.
I know you'll find a lot of support here though in your quest to be alcohol free - you're among friends here
Welcome!
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Manchester
Posts: 9
Thank you all for your lovely messages, I was having such a down day, yo guys have made me smile and believe that sobriety is totally attainable. Dee74 yes I'm receiving counseling, I'm struggling to accept the fact that I wasn't to blame for he attack.
Thank you all so much,
Thank you all so much,
Welcome! I'm glad you joined our family. I'm so sorry to hear what has happened to you and I'm glad you are seeking counseling. That is horrible and no matter the circumstance, you are definitely not to blame. This place has helped me tremendously. I hope it helps you as well. Good luck on your road to recovery!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Braunfels, TX
Posts: 23
Hey Panrose...just wanted to drop by and let you know that I'm right there with you on the binge drinking stuff...once I start I don't stop until I'm in a blackout, usually.
I'm so sorry to hear what happened and never blame yourself.
I wish the best for you and your quest to become sober.
Tommy
I'm so sorry to hear what happened and never blame yourself.
I wish the best for you and your quest to become sober.
Tommy
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Corinth, TX
Posts: 490
I'm so sorry you have had to go through what you have. I'm sorry too, that you are not feeling well today. 82 days ago people told me I'd never have to feel this way again. You don't have to either. If I can do this, you can too! It is so worth it and the people on this site are so warm and supportive. Please keep reading and posting. We are here for you and you do not have to do this alone!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Manchester
Posts: 9
Thank you Tommy2. I've lost so many friends through binge drinking. It's so nice to find support through this website.
Good luck to you.
~We are al in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars~
Good luck to you.
~We are al in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars~
Welcome Panrose!
I'm glad you reached out for support today. I could never manage to stay sober on my own, so coming here gave me the inspiration I needed to be successful.
You can do this (one day at a time!):ghug3
I'm glad you reached out for support today. I could never manage to stay sober on my own, so coming here gave me the inspiration I needed to be successful.
You can do this (one day at a time!):ghug3
You are not alone..
Hello Panrose...
I am so sorry to hear about your experience, but am so glad you are doing something about it...
You had mentioned that you have lost many friends as a result of your drinking...
I lost my last boyfriend because he refuses to recognize that he has a drinking problem....
Even though, I'm not able to be in his life becuase of this, I still continue to love and care about him very much...
I have no doubt in my mind, that from afar, your friends still love and care about you too...
I wish you the very best....
I am so sorry to hear about your experience, but am so glad you are doing something about it...
You had mentioned that you have lost many friends as a result of your drinking...
I lost my last boyfriend because he refuses to recognize that he has a drinking problem....
Even though, I'm not able to be in his life becuase of this, I still continue to love and care about him very much...
I have no doubt in my mind, that from afar, your friends still love and care about you too...
I wish you the very best....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Manchester
Posts: 9
Hello everyone, how do I cope with the overwhelming guilt. It feels so bad today it actually hurts inside. I cannot leave my bed I'm so ashamed. I'm trying to piece together what I did when I binged and I feel sick with it all.
I just feel disgusting.
Thanks for your help
X
I just feel disgusting.
Thanks for your help
X
Hello panrose,
Thanks for sharing with us and welcome to SR. You are not unique in your feelings of guilt or shame. I have certainly been in your shoes. Just have faith that you can change your future. I know that may sound hard but it is true. Lots of support to be found here. Thanks for having the courage to share your thoughts with us.
Hang in there.
Thanks for sharing with us and welcome to SR. You are not unique in your feelings of guilt or shame. I have certainly been in your shoes. Just have faith that you can change your future. I know that may sound hard but it is true. Lots of support to be found here. Thanks for having the courage to share your thoughts with us.
Hang in there.
I'm very sorry for what happened to you, and I'm glad that you're getting counselling.
I hope you can begin to let go of blaming yourself for what happened.
And, know for sure, that you never have to put yourself in a vulnerable position again.
I hope you can begin to let go of blaming yourself for what happened.
And, know for sure, that you never have to put yourself in a vulnerable position again.
Hi Panrose, I am so sorry for what happened to you. As far as guilt goes, try and let go of it. The past is gone forever and you are working on your sobriety. Try and focus on the positive aspects of quitting and not be so hard on yourself. It's commendable that after a bing, you posted looking for support. I would have been lying in bed for 3 days. Pat yourself on the back for that You are not alone, we have all felt guilt and shame for our drinking. Redemption is possible and love is all around you.
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