Hi SilentCries
I'm sorry for your situation.
I wonder have you tried a dedicated pain clinic for your pain - anything must be better than getting pills illegally - I'd imagine getting caught for that could be a lot more damaging to your reputation than being seen at a NA meeting too...not to mention the dangers that can always happen on the streets.
I think it's clear you need to do something different.
If you think NA is the next step, why not go to a different town for a meeting for example?
You'll find a lot of support and ideas here too
You might also find our substance abuse forum of some use as well:
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Welcome
D