No, you really are good for much! Please get the book Co Dependent No More and find an Al Anon meeting by you. There was a time when I heard that a woman was taken hostage by this criminal and he kept her for months before the police finally found her but the weird thing was she was now telling the police that she was in love with her captor! He treated her like scum while he had her so I couldn't understand how she could fall in love with such a person. We've all been taken captive here at one time or another. Please do not define yourself by one human being.