I think my not dissociating is just me being a newbie...there was a bit of panic last night when that thought entered my head (that was the strongest I'd experienced other than just fleeting thoughts) and I had to get my bearings straight just to re-affirm my Big Plan...I have faith that I will improve with time.
Thanks for your post Kanamit. I like number 2. I can list several horror movies I've seen that supply me with many morally repellent acts I would never even debate in my head about doing. I tend to get stuck in debate with my Beast too but there is no sense in doing so. Kinda like the back and forth with parents and kids...if you get into a debate with them, you're stooping to their level and engaging them, giving them the opportunity to fight for their side of the argument.
Now, here's a question I'd like to see AVRT users answer, what in the world is up with the drunk/drinking dreams? Jeeze! Is this my midbrain getting its way when I sleep? lol