Beast attack...huh that sneaky thing. I was sitting on my couch and eating my chicken quesadilla tonight. I had a roommate once that would make them all the time and she inspired me back then to like them too. I was heavy into my drinking back then and haven't really made a chicken quesadilla since I lived there. Funny thing is as I was eating it my memory flashed back to that time and I felt sooooo happy and relaxed like I was back in that kitchen at night, sneaking in and out of my bedroom to grab more beers from the fridge. Drinking was such a good time back then, I was skinny, had a dating life, friends and still managed to escape reality every night and hide in my bedroom drinking beers and watching Comedy Central without a care in the world. Anyway, while remembering this all I heard, "I can get that feeling back right now. I can just go get some beer and it'll be back like in the good old days. Sure, I can never get those days back, but if I drink it'll be the closest thing! It'd be so great just to pretend that nothing bad exists again." And then I started to think of where I could get some money for beer and snapped back out of it. I restated my Big Plan and then heard "But WHY are you never going to drink again?" At first I tried to explain myself and then decided it doesn't matter WHY and I responded, "I made that Plan during a time of clarity about the problems booze has caused me and I'm fully committed to sticking to it no matter what. There doesn't need to be a WHY. I'm just never drinking again. Period."
Sometimes I feel like the AV gets a stronghold on my thoughts which is why it's hard to come up with a WHY for my Big Plan; which is why I just resort so saying there just doesn't need to be a why, I made the plan and I'm sticking to it no matter what.
Anyway, how evil of my Beast to throw me in a mental time machine. It must be getting really agitated now that's it's not getting any of "its precious". Ahahaha, sucker.