There are probably other rehab options.. I know the Salvation Army offers rehab at no cost to folks who can't afford it. A lot of counselors will also work with you on a sliding scale fee. Course, AA is free and I think you've been to some meetings if I'm remembering correctly. I know I was stuck in the same deadly cycle, until I was willing to do anything in the world to get and stay sober. My work offered me 'treatment' (whatever was recommended by our mental health providers), well that didn't include rehab so I was a bit on my own. I found an addictions psychologist near me that accepted my insurance and worked w/ me on copays, but couldn't get in to see him for a week.. although AA wasn't the program I worked, I went to a meeting every night during the 'witching hours' of my normal drinking time until I could get my butt in to see someone about this stuff. Almost 3 years later now, I saved my life.. and created a life that I'm incredibly proud of, and a serenity that is precious to me. I hope you find it in you to save your life, it really can be a beautiful journey.