I am sober now for a couple of months, and my wife and I are both aware that since I have changed, so must our relationship. We both feel that these changes are for the better since they are based on an improved mutual understanding of each other and of ourselves, without the distortion of a near constant alcoholic fog.
I am trying hard not to become 'a roommate', but this new (old?) persona is requiring a lot of introspection and integration work that was postponed due to hangover. I hope that this might explain your husband's need for some new self-talk.