High Bottom..
...Hi David, Ken here -- I'm an alcoholic, a "high bottom" alcoholic. I didn't lose my house, family, blah blah blah... but here is an email I wrote during my last drunk...:
Bill:
I think by now I'm ready to stop. Weeks, months, etc.
of drinking is leading me nowhere. I feel lost and
need to find a way somehow. I feel somewhat of a
loser by going back to the AA group, but feel
really connected there. Tonight I could keep on
drinking, but what would it get me? It's almost 9:00
and I'm pretty done with my drinking. My problem is
that I wake up "not so bad," and do it all over again.
Truth is, I get drunk every time I drink ( pretty
much every night.). I figure if I email you, I don't
have an excuse not to work on this ****. Can you meet
me Friday night? I need a sponsor and a program. I
am ready to surrender. My work email is
*********, phone is ***-***-****. Right
now I have consumed a 12 pack plus many ounces of
tequila... guess you don't need to know that, just
that I need help. I have let my family down, don't
want to screw my job up, that's been suffering too.
This whole thing has gotten out of control and making
my life hell....
Ken
That's about as "bottomed" as I'd care to get. And it wasn't the first time I've felt like that, it happened over and over...
I am currently worried about my Mom as well. Even though she lives 2,500 miles away, I know alcohol has her in its grip -- and I can't do a thing about it. Once I get some sobriety under my belt, I will most likely fly up there and talk to her, see if I can get her to AA with me... Unfortunately, it's ultimately her decision, as it is your Dad's decision. I can't drag her kicking and screaming, I can only pray that God (or whatever Higher Power one chooses to acknowledge) will get her there.
There are some great posts in this thread, I just wanted to let you know that one does not have to hit a "rock" bottom to get well. I look at it this way -- my elevator was on its way down when I was a practicing alcoholic -- I chose to get off before it hit the basement.
Keep us posted, and God bless...
Ken