Thank you everyone. :-)
Previously I always thought that I was temporarily abstaining and that eventually I would be able to drink "normally." My question to myself was always, when can I drink again? And I was never sure and would start back up only to encounter more negative issues and depression. ("This seems to be a good reason to drink." "I will just have a couple for this occassion.")
For the first time I am telling myself, "I'm just not going to drink. Ever. For whatever reason. And I will be just fine." I'm not going to lie, I occasionally think, well maybe in the distant future on my birthday or on some big event where I know I'll be safe and everyone else is drinking, I'll drink. But then, as my boyfriend reminded me when we were talking about it the other night, part of me will be living life waiting in anticipation for the next time I can drink! It's easier for me to just (usually) think I'm not going to drink ever, or to re-direct my thinking along those lines whenever I start to think of when I can drink again. Instead of looking at it as something I've been denied or want to do but can't, I try to remember all the bad repurcussions and ask myself why I would WANT to drink. And to focus on all the positive things that are happening because I'm not drinking. I DO need to face myself sober and address my issues or I will always stay stuck in this same rut.