Mizo,
Welcome to you, glad you found us, there is lots of helpful information here and support from folks who have been through the same trials and tribulations.
You have to do what is best for you, you and only you!
Have you considered attending al-anon?
My mom has been an alcoholic over 40 years, she is self-absorbed and bull-headed, she does not care what anyone else thinks.
in the past I have felt so much hate and rage for how she treated her family and friends.
My father has set aside his own happiness to make sure she does not drink herself to death or kill someone else on the road, this makes me so sad for him and angry at her.
I have come to the point of indifference, I just hope she dies before my dad so he can have some happiness and also that no one else has to take care of her.
I used to feel guilty, I don't anymore, I know it is not my fault, I cannot fix it, I can only love her from a distance.
I hope you find some peace, this is a great place to talk with others, read their stories, and share the pain with poeple who really understand what you are going through.
Best of luck to you,
Bill