New Tack
Crawling back once again, this time thru the fallout of a bad freak-out black out resulting from an attempt at controlled drinking. Not sure what I'm doing anymore, actually I don't suppose I ever did, but I've caused enough chaos lately to know that I need to change some stuff pretty quickly, pretty drastically. To that end, I made a deal with myself the last time, and, having called my own bluff in a pretty big way, have decided to follow thru with AA, at least for the short term. It's not my favorite reality, but in my gut it feels like the responsible, necessary thing to do, and I'm beginning to think I might not make it if I continue trying to prove that my way works. I found a meeting to hit on Friday as soon as I'm back in town, til then I'm laying low and working on keeping an open mind. We'll see.