Actually, even though you do not think so at the moment, you will DO A MUCH BETTER JOB than before WITHOUT ALCOHOL MUDDLING UP YOUR BRAIN.
Please stay IN TODAY. Do everything on your plate FOR TODAY. Then tomorrow do the same thing again.
Come here and post as often as you need to, be it during the day or when you get home at night.
Please go to the nearest store that carries light bulbs and pick yourself up some of those "Sunlight" bulbs and put them in the lamps in your home, the one that is where you sit the most, the light next to your bed, etc. Believe it or not THEY DO HELP TREMENDOUSLY with the 'winter doldrums'.
I have several friends that live in the far northern hemisphere, Alaska, Norway, Sweden, Finland, etc and they swear by the bulbs. Those light bulbs have made a HUGE DIFFERENCE in their 'winter moods.'
If you find that the light bulbs are not doing enough, then seek some help from your doctor.
I have to tell you, that you are doing what most of us do, and yes even as long as I have been sober I can still do it, if I allow myself:
AWFULIZING
And I can drive myself crazy. So I get back to TODAY. What is on my plate for today? Prioritize those items, and just do those. Now that is not to say that something may come up that will need to be 'handled' for tomorrow or the next day, or the next day, and that will go at the top of the list for that day.
Something else that can help is to visualize all of us in whatever room you are in. We may not be with you in person, but we are walking with you in spirit. It will help, to see in your mind that we are all there with you.
Love and hugs,