So happy to hear that there are other success stories out there.
Wanted to tell you what made me do this. Originally I was not going to get an attorney, he had filed against me. I moved out of the house New Years Eve 2008. I had thought that if I left, he would get help. Didn't happen. He filed for the divorce on our 26th anniversary, ok, that still was enough to get me really p!ssed. I still wanted to do it amicably. Was going to walk away with just about 25% of the assets and 50% of the equity in the house. (Equity in the house turned out to be $5000.) Had a second mortgage on it.
I changed my direct deposit for my pension check so that it didn't go into our joint checking account. He cried the blues that he couldn't afford the household bills, so I told him that till the house is sold that I would send him $500. a month to help with the bills.
He told me that he needed to do some work on the house before he listed it, I offered to help with the cleaning and painting. 3 days later he called me and told me he listed the house the night before, and they were sending me the papers to sign. That pushed me a little because I wanted to meet with the Real Estate agent.
Found out 2 weeks later that he bought himself a new car. He did need a new car because the one he had broke down, but he bought a brand new car, after complaining to me about the household expenses, and guess how much the monthly payments were ----- $485 per month, so that's were my $500. was going. I stopped the $500. immediately. Glad I only did this for 1 month.
Then I found out he went on vacation to Colorado. (He didn't take me on vacation for over 8 years, he told me that's why we have a backyard, that sitting on the deck outside is better than any vacation). This, when crying the blues about having no money.
When looking at all of the above, this pushed me right over the edge !!!!!!!! I'm not usually a fighter, but I felt like he was laughing at me.
Now, I have my own home, got it cheap, it was a foreclosure. It's in a gated community. No unexpected visitors. Peace of mind. And a monthly alimony check, with no imputed wages.