Has anyone here considered a "marital tort"

Old 10-12-2011, 09:31 PM
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Has anyone here considered a "marital tort"

I did, I counter filed on the grounds of extreme mental cruelty. I think that I could have won this in court. Had enough to back it. I had police records, friends (hearsay though) tape recordings (inadmissable), but I could have requested a jury.

My ex knew I had enough, so after going from he will not pay me alimony at all, I got a decent alimony check, plus when he retires, a big chunk of that, in addition to a $500,000 life insurance policy, in case he croaks.

Don't ever think that you can't get this, I did!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 10-13-2011, 01:42 AM
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I might add if your friends actually witnessed any of these events, this is not hearsay. If all you did is cry on their shoulders (nothing wrong with that) about how you have been mistreated then yes it is hearsay.
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Old 10-13-2011, 06:18 AM
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My divorce was granted early, on grounds of "mental cruelty", based solely on my affidavit which stated that XAH lied, drank like a fish, cut himself to punish me, showed signs of mental instability, and threw stuff at me. He never once touched me, but in the eyes of the court, it was considered that I was abused for the duration of the marriage. There was no money to split, because XAH drank and snorted it all away, and there were obviously no retirement investments either, so that made things very simple. Because XAH never showed up for the custody hearing, I got sole custody by default, and a month later, the divorce also proceeded by default. It IS possible to "win" in court, even in a province that always grants split custody.

I assume things would have gone very differently if XAH had showed up and fought, seeing as he is a world-class liar, but when liars don't show up to court...
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Old 10-13-2011, 07:40 AM
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I didn't file the "marital tort" because it would have been expensive. I paid the extra $300. for the extreme mental cruelty. This worked because My ex's attorney knew that I could win if it went to court. I had a hospital record, from when he gave me a black eye, I had records from a Domestic Violence shelter, I stayed there one night, and had marks on my neck, I had therapist records, and psychiatrist records diagnosed me as anxiety attacks, panic attacks, PTSD, caused by the marriage. All the friends were hearsay.

My ex had already agreed to give me $5000. for the scar on my face, this was proof enough that he caused it.

After his attorney received my petition for extreme mental cruelty, and knowing that I was thinking about a "marital tort", things went a lot more smoothly for me.

I did a lot of research on marital torts, and the abuse does not have to be physical. It has to be "egregious behavior".

I never intended to proceed with the marital tort, but the mention of it, and filing for extreme mental cruelty, sure did help my case.

After I got what I wanted I also dropped the extreme mental cruelty part, it would have only cost me more money to pursue that.
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Old 10-13-2011, 07:49 AM
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Hugs to you amy, I only wish your settlement could have been 10x. You certainly have endured more than your share. I hope your new life is filled with peace and joy, you deserve it.
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Old 10-13-2011, 08:10 AM
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My divorce went smooth and quick too with my X not showing up or getting a lawyer. I told him if he wants to use up everything we own and give it to the lawyers then so be it but with what I had on him during our marriage I would come out way ahead. He opted to sit back and do nothing. I got the house, car, and if he should pass away I'll get his life insurance and all his IRA's and pension plans.
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Old 10-13-2011, 08:29 AM
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Good for you, amy55, for fighting back. You deserve everything (and more) for putting up with that a**wipe.

I took the opposite route and simply walked away without fighting for anything. I don't need anything. There isn't much of anything anyway. But before I did, I checked to see if an annulment on the grounds of fraud was possible. And fraud being that he was an alcoholic before he married me and didn't let me know this. It would have been doable but very hard to prove. Kind of disappointing...an annulment would have wiped the marriage off the face of public records as if it never happened....
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Old 10-13-2011, 09:26 AM
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So happy to hear that there are other success stories out there.


Wanted to tell you what made me do this. Originally I was not going to get an attorney, he had filed against me. I moved out of the house New Years Eve 2008. I had thought that if I left, he would get help. Didn't happen. He filed for the divorce on our 26th anniversary, ok, that still was enough to get me really p!ssed. I still wanted to do it amicably. Was going to walk away with just about 25% of the assets and 50% of the equity in the house. (Equity in the house turned out to be $5000.) Had a second mortgage on it.

I changed my direct deposit for my pension check so that it didn't go into our joint checking account. He cried the blues that he couldn't afford the household bills, so I told him that till the house is sold that I would send him $500. a month to help with the bills.

He told me that he needed to do some work on the house before he listed it, I offered to help with the cleaning and painting. 3 days later he called me and told me he listed the house the night before, and they were sending me the papers to sign. That pushed me a little because I wanted to meet with the Real Estate agent.

Found out 2 weeks later that he bought himself a new car. He did need a new car because the one he had broke down, but he bought a brand new car, after complaining to me about the household expenses, and guess how much the monthly payments were ----- $485 per month, so that's were my $500. was going. I stopped the $500. immediately. Glad I only did this for 1 month.

Then I found out he went on vacation to Colorado. (He didn't take me on vacation for over 8 years, he told me that's why we have a backyard, that sitting on the deck outside is better than any vacation). This, when crying the blues about having no money.

When looking at all of the above, this pushed me right over the edge !!!!!!!! I'm not usually a fighter, but I felt like he was laughing at me.

Now, I have my own home, got it cheap, it was a foreclosure. It's in a gated community. No unexpected visitors. Peace of mind. And a monthly alimony check, with no imputed wages.
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Old 10-13-2011, 10:12 AM
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Originally Posted by amy55 View Post
Don't ever think that you can't get this, I did!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is because you don't have a penis. It doesn't work the same for the men.
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Old 10-13-2011, 11:29 AM
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Originally Posted by Programmatic View Post
This is because you don't have a penis. It doesn't work the same for the men.


I'm sorry that I don't have a penis. If I did, I would make sure that my wife didn't have enough on me to file, or think about filing a "marital tort".
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Old 10-13-2011, 12:03 PM
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Originally Posted by amy55 View Post
I'm sorry that I don't have a penis. If I did, I would make sure that my wife didn't have enough on me to file, or think about filing a "marital tort".
Your point seems to be that it is a good thing that women can retaliate with a marital tort.

I might be inclined to agree if a man could ever manage to have enough on his wife to file, or think about filing a marital tort.

My point was simply that it is not the case. I suspect your apology to be sarcasm but forgive me if I am incorrect. I can see that it's easy for you to snidely laugh it off because you don't have to consider what it's like for a man in your same situation.
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Old 10-13-2011, 12:10 PM
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Why would a man not be able to file a marital tort?
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Old 10-13-2011, 12:10 PM
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I considered what it is like for a man to be in the same situation. If a man was in the same situation as me, than he should file a marital tort. I did not snidely laugh this off.

My ex was a 11 inches taller than me, outweighed me by at least 75 lbs. He gave me two black eyes, and multiple other black and blues, he threw me to the ground and kicked me in the ribs.

And I don't agree with the penis thing, I feel that everyone should be treated equally in court. And no, that was not an apology.

During my marriage, I should have had him arrested many times.

My divorce settlement was what I should have gotten, I probably should have gotten more, my money ran out to continue fighting him.

And yes, if a woman is beaten, and made to fear for her life, then I do think that the perfect retaliation is a marital tort. Why? Because she was probably too afraid to take him to court during the marriage.
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Old 10-13-2011, 12:11 PM
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Originally Posted by suki44883 View Post
Why would a man not be able to file a marital tort?
A man is able to file a marital tort. Anyone can file one. Just need evidence to do so.
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Old 10-13-2011, 12:23 PM
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I misspoke. A man can file marital tort. Anyone who can retain an attorney can file marital tort.

I'm trying to keep this discussion in the context under which I entered it. amy55 exclaimed publicly, to me a male, that I should never think that I cannot get compensation by way of marital tort. Her encouragement was based on her success with the practice.

My response is that while a man can certainly file a marital tort there is sufficient reason for him to think that he will not actually be awarded any compensation as there are ample historical rulings to substantiate such musing.

The irony in this is that marital tort, or heartbalm law, was historically law strictly reserved for men to exercise.
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Old 10-13-2011, 12:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Programmatic View Post
I misspoke. A man can file marital tort. Anyone who can retain an attorney can file marital tort.

I'm trying to keep this discussion in the context under which I entered it. amy55 exclaimed publicly, to me a male, that I should never think that I cannot get compensation by way of marital tort. Her encouragement was based on her success with the practice.

My response is that while a man can certainly file a marital tort there is sufficient reason for him to think that he will not actually be awarded any compensation as there are ample historical rulings to substantiate such musing.

The irony in this is that marital tort, or heartbalm law, was historically law strictly reserved for men to exercise.

What?????????? When did I exclaim publicly any of this???????????? Outta here!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 10-13-2011, 12:35 PM
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Originally Posted by amy55 View Post
Don't ever think that you can't get this, I did!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I interpret the above quote to indicate that I should never think that I cannot get compensation by way of marital tort and that this encouragement is based on your own experience with the matter.

This is the 2nd time I have quoted it.

My only point is that the concept should be amended to be applicable to females only.
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Old 10-13-2011, 01:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Programmatic View Post
I interpret the above quote to indicate that I should never think that I cannot get compensation by way of marital tort and that this encouragement is based on your own experience with the matter.

This is the 2nd time I have quoted it.

My only point is that the concept should be amended to be applicable to females only.
If you NEED to be right, then you are RIGHT. I could have stayed married for arguments like this. They are nothing but stupid.

I never included a gender into any of this, you did.
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Old 10-13-2011, 01:51 PM
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If you want to fight with me in private, then send me a PM. I do totally believe that if you are treated abusively that you have the right to file a marital tort. I do not believe that a marital tort should be used just to gain the advantage. I never "noted" genders.
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Old 10-13-2011, 02:08 PM
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I have and had no intention of fighting with you.

In hindsight, I probably should have left your thread alone altogether.

My resent of the fact that tort law is not as available to men seemed to come out into your thread rather than any positive contribution to its content.

If I had it to do over again I would have not approached it as personally as I did and would have phrased it more like, "Unfortunately the current legal system denies these issues can exist for men."

My apologies for not exercising greater care in my approach. I admit that I was initially adversarial to a degree.
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