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Old 10-11-2011, 10:20 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
outtolunch
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Back when, I too went through the ordeal of having the Police in to advise how I can keep my husband and I and our stuff save from our daughter and her drug pals. I got the same instructions as you did.

I changed all the locks and had the blasted alarm system installed. We also installed interior motion detectors in case she/they decided to smash a window. That was cheaper than wiring each window.

While she was no longer welcome in my home, I never went completely no contact. I would run into her from time to time and bought her a sandwich from a take out place.We did not talk much cause there really was nothing to say.

Anger was not an issue with me. Just a profound saddness and eventually surrender. I am powerless over her and her choices.

She eventually got clean on her own timetable. All of her drug pals were either dead or in prison. Speculation on my part that she knew she was going to have to hit the streets without protection and do what a girl has to do to survive. Perhaps this was her bottom.

I finally cancelled the alarm service this year. The door still beeps when it's opened. I rather enjoy the sound. So does the dog. My daughter has no clue that the alarm is disabled because she will always be one lousy decision away from disaster. No different than I, as it relates to codependency.

As an aside, I had EMDR therapy. It is a rather goofy technique that is highly effective helping people disengage from trauma. And having a front row seat to your child's addiction is trauma. Maybe in time you might find this helpful, too.
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