wanttobehappy

hello,
i am new to this forum and would like to say thank you in advance if you are reading my post.
my partner, who i have been with for 5 years and have a young child with, has always been a problem drinker, which got progressively worse in the last 2 years. He only drank in the evenings but He was very aggressive and abusive verbally when drunk, and had been arrested before for the behaviour. i left him 5 months ago as i could not take any more and his drinking got worse, he was drinking during the day at this point, but still going to work, and took an overdose after a drunken binge, and got arrested when he came to see me and my daughter at our new house and got arrested there. After intervention from his family he agreed to go to a rehab clinic and i agreed to move back home as he had gone to get help, and that i would try to support him as much as i could. He was there for 2 weeks, and came out 2 weeks ago. Since leaving he has not attended any AA meetings or sought any support. Last week i thought he had been drinking secretly, and when i asked him he eventually told me that he had on 3 occasions, calling in the pub after work to down a few quick drinks before he came home. He came home tonight, and i could tell he was drunk, slurring words and being niggly, and he admitted he had called in the pub for 10 mins after work to have a couple of double vodkas.
He says that being told that he cannot have a drink makes him want it more, and if he was 'allowed' to have one or two a few times a week, he would be able to control it and be happy with that, because of what he has learnt in rehab etc. I personally dont believe this, i think its a slippery slope, and it will get out of control again. If he couldnt control it before when he faced losing me and our daughter, why would he be able to now?
I just wondered if anybody could offer me any advice from their experiences? Has anyone known an alcoholic who could control their drinking? Is this quite a commom pattern in recovery? I really dont know what i should do, whether to step back and let him do what he wants, as i know i cant stop him drinking if he wants to, allowing him to drink at home? I am really not sure of what my boundaries in all of this are, i just want to do the right thing. I am planning on going to an al anon meeting this week, just havent been since he came out of the clinic as i wanted to be around to support him. i cant force him to meetings but i feel so helpless. I know if it all gets out of control again i will have to leave with our daughter, and i am so scared because i came back because i want to keep our family together.
Thanks again, and thinking of everyone who finds themself on here for support, it is so tough. Glad i found this forum reading through other peoples experiences really helps to not feel alone in it all.