i think this is a GREAT topic
Welcome!! Thanks for your post!!! I can relate as im sure many others can as well. I was an extremely high functioning DRUNK/addict lol. I have always been addicted to anything that made me feel good.(drugs, alcohol, sexual relations, etc) I use to even tell my friends about how wonderful i was at using prescription pills, xtacy, coke, and booze. I was a star athlete in highschool. I went to college and got a degree in the IT field, graduated with honors, and was a member of many honor societies. I also landed a nice job in a corporate office where i sit today. In my eyes that was EXTREMELY functioning. However, personal relationships were beginning to fail. My partner was not happy, my family was not happy, which in turn began to make me question my use. I went to treatment in fear of losing my partner. I sobered up and got a good clean month of sobriety. Then i entered IOP and learned so much about how to live sober and happy. With the help of counselors i realized that i was never actually in control. In fact my unmanageability came from within.
I had a very hard time reading the first step to recovery. Admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanagable. For me, If i put anything in my body i would not stop (powerless). My emotions were all over the map, and i could not handle being sober as i did not like who i was. (unmanagable)
Today is a good day to be sober so ill keep doing what im doing!! Thank you again for your post it brought me back to my days of confusion. There is a solution =)