Your delusion of being "in control" of your emotions was where I was. There is no control, you're numbing them, stuffing them down inside. All of them are still there waiting to be released.
Many alkies & addicts I know are functioning, we may not all make tons of money, but we function daily, usually to get our fix. We are also highly intelligent.
If you think you are too intelligent to learn anything, your arrogant closed mind could hurt you when all is said and done. Try having an open mind.
Recovering from your addiction is in your hands. You must decide if you're an addict.
I wish you all the best in recovery! Remember, many don't recover if they believe themselves to be too smart....it's part of the delusion.