Recovery...does it have to be his or mine?
I've come to realize that there are certain things that go unsaid in Al-Anon. I was very resistant to it in the begining because of my personal beliefs about some of the ideas that I thought were promoted...
I was wrong. I am using my meetings to gain insight and learn more about what I need for ME...and my serenity.
I'm not sure that my marriage can survive recovery. His or mine.
I'm realizing daily that there are things I don't want to live with. There are little things..and very big things.
As always though...it must be about him.
He keeps forgetting that I have a say in this too. I have choices and I am able to competently decide what is best for me....
My serenity matters too.
I'm just feeling very disconnected right now...he's in a "all about me" phase and no matter what is going on ...it gets turned into HIS feelings, his wants and what is important to HIM.
I just have no patience for that.
I don't know...maybe I'm growing. Maybe I'm just seeing things clearer...
I'm attending my al-anon. I got a sponser and I'm working on the steps...but I'm still feeling very weird about it all.
My boundaries are clear on the alcohol but not so clear on the other things...basic relationship/marriage stuff.
Am I weird? Is this still 'adjusting'?
Will I feel better about this stuff later?
I'm just feeling a bit lost about how I feel and whether this is where I want to be...