Need Experienced Family Intervention Ideas-Comments
I am asking for some ideas, comments and a sense of direction with this situation...For those of you who know my story, Im going to keep this as simple as I can without writing a page full...
XAH went to 28 day rehab @ $10,000 - Came home started drinking.
Packed up and moved back East. Lives with his brother.
His family blamed me for his drinking. We got divorced.
Now 10 months later, his brother has seen the facts.
His brother calls me today and tells me that he is going to go visit his family this week. So they can talk about some type of intervention. Keep in mind he is going from east coast to west coast to do this. But he is not taking his alcoholic brother with him.
He asked me alot of questions and I asked him alot of questions.
I asked: How does he look? - He said, he looks 10 worse than when he got there. Not showering for days. Eats one meal a day. Works everyday. But still drinking, but hey, he's not drunk everyday... Doesnt drink coffee anymore.
I asked him, What is he drinking then?...He said, "Water"..I laughed and told him to check the water bottle for vodka...
He expressed that is overwhelmed and full of burdens, but then he said, he's my brother Ive got to help him.......I went dead silent. Almost gasped for
air, then the tears began to flow....
He asked me: Do you think we should put him in rehab? But you know
he would miss 28 more days of work and he cant afford that
He asked me: What do you think about family intervention?
He asked me: What do you think we should do with him?
He asked me: If I would gather some information for him, because he
works alot of hours and doesnt know what to do. He wants information
to share with his family regarding interventions vs. AA....
This is what I told him: I spent $10 grand, it did not work. AA and the
mercy of God is free whenever he decides he wants to live. I cant, You
cant make him, change him or cure him. It breaks my heart, but I just
cant fix him.. Wish I could click my heels 3 times, but it does not work that way.
I told him, that I would get some feedback from my friends on
this and get back with him. Geez, where were they when I needed them? uggg....oh well, that's not how I roll...
I am trying to decide if I should write one letter to them all. Why? The problem we have with his family is, he hasnt lived by them since he was
18. So they only know, what they really see today. Im thinking if I clue
them in a bit, it would help them understand, this just didnt happen. He didnt
become an alcoholic overnight...Good idea or bad??
Do you recommend that I help them ideas? Or is that all his business?
Im really confussed on this one. I have cried for 2 solid days. This
just got added to the top of the cake.
I dont know much on family interventions...Any ideas, thoughts?
Do I help or do I run?