Originally Posted by
omenapt 
... i dont know what i have yet to learn about alcoholism. The progressive nature of this disease had me on the precipice of end stage alcoholism! i want my remaining days on this earth to have some serenity and to be of some use to others...
Sounds like you are ready to learn the difference between abstinence (thinkin of not-drinkin) and recovery (not thinkin of drinkin). Try reading the posts in the Alcoholism and 12 Step forums.