omenapt

two weeks sober ,,think i should go to the speakers meeting down the street tonight

i quit drinking and smoking Jan 2011 but felt like hell for 6 months. when i have quit before, i physically felt well within weeks. i was out of breath and could barely get around and would go to sleep and get chills and fever..as it turns out ended up in the hospital by the end of May with a serious bout of pneumonia! i then took a medical leave to recuperate which went well as i had still not drank and actually felt myself getting stronger and healthier and a general good attitude..then, Aug 1st ,return to work and then return to drink and smoke, and taking heavy hitting followup drugs. The combo has been nightmarish... Two weeks ago ( i thought i could just sip wine, just stay away from the hard stuff and never liked beer) i drank a full jug friday night and was so shaky the next day, i had to have another jug to feel better. By dinnertime, things went haywire, the shaking trembles,mental anguish! At that point i knew i was in trouble.. i was half in/half out of living and knew i had to stop the insanity. I am 54 years old. i dont know what i have yet to learn about alcoholism. The progressive nature of this disease had me on the precipice of end stage alcoholism! i want my remaining days on this earth to have some serenity and to be of some use to others , other than just my dang employer and sometimes that has been questionable!

i guess i had my last post here nearly two years ago.. good to be back to recovery. i dont think at my age there are many more "coming backs"!

EDHARLEY

Glad to see you back

tanja

omenapt,

I can relate. Today is day 13 for me and I always think I will feel better. It has been a rough 13 days due to the insomnia. I am 51 and have drank for over 30 years. I was a binge drinker. 12+ beers once a week. I don't want to live that way any longer. I am also suffering from menopuase (so the night sweats and insomnia are pretty bad). I have been pretty depressed because I feel so physically bad. Your post lifted me, made me get off the pity pot and not feel so alone. Thank you

least

Welcome back! I know what you mean about maybe not having many more 'come backs' left in me... (just turned 60) and I don't want to 'do the research' to find out...

sissy07

I am so sorry to hear about your troubles. I understand, like all of us likely do. I am 59 and on day 59. I went to rehab for my alcoholism when I was 35, sober 8 yrs, dranks, sober 9 yrs, then started to drink 4 yrs ago, and just now stopped. As I have gotten older, the adverse health effects of drinking excessively get worse exponentially. I actually think I might have died soon if I didn't quit. And the fact that this is a progressive disease made it that much harder. I actually don't think I have another recovery left in me. Plus the anguish of being my age and still counting days sober....ugh. I am sure you know what to do (and not to do) next. Please do it. I have my hope back, and reading about you being in the same position I was in makes me so sad. I am sorry....please keep us updated on your progress. Elizabeth

bellakeller

I know I don't have another relapse in me either. It's harder and harder to come back.

I hope you come to stay this time.

Much love.

Zebra1275

You are never too old to start in AA. I know people in AA who started in their 50's and now have several sober years and their health has returned (well, as much as it can return, half a century on earth causes some wear and tear, with or without alcohol).

So what's your plan to stay sober this time?

Dee74

Welcome back omenapt - I'm glad to see you back here.
I agree that it's never ever too late

Zebra's question was mine too - so, whats next?

D

omenapt

AA seems to be the only way out for me..i was quite active during my 8 years ago but then i stopped going and the rest is history.. i made feeble attempts to rejoin . I remember after one relapse (lenghty), when i returned to aa this one guy who was always on my case said to me "man, you look like ****" i wasnt offended 'cause he was right! i wanted to wait a few weeks this time as i wastooo shaky i couldnt bringmy self to be in a room full of people (its a large group that I have gone to), although i always have been able to function at work but in my own little cubicle and on the fone!.

Boleo

Sounds like you are ready to learn the difference between abstinence (thinkin of not-drinkin) and recovery (not thinkin of drinkin). Try reading the posts in the Alcoholism and 12 Step forums.