I chose this lawyer bc I need someone good (bc AH's attorney is a well well well known shark that his parents are paying for). But I can't have her do much of anything until I can pay her retainer and I can't pay it right now. I literally have no money and don't have that much on credit to pay her with. So, that's a HUGE piece of it.
I am not naive enough to think that the legal system gives a $hit about what's true. Lawyers who argue the best and are the fiecest fighters have just as good a chance at prevailing as the truth does-- maybe even better.
So, I've waited to file bc I don't want to share custody and lose time with my girls simply bc I have no money for a fancy lawyer and that's what will happen. AH has proven that he will hurt them to get at me and I have no doubt that will continue into custody issues as well.
I think I'm going to tell him I'll move out with the girls and go to my mom's which is the only other option. She's severely mentally ill and I am more scared to leave the girls with her than with AH but that's it for options. When he knows he can be in the house I imagine his victimhood bs will end. And I guess I need to apply for a new credit card and pay the retainer on that... This is a nightmare.