Hmmm, pretty sure I said several times I WASN'T surprised but that it was upsetting nonetheless.
I'm not proceeding with the divorce right now bc of finances and have kind of been over that about a million times on here.
I also have applied for and been denied a RO which has also been detailed on here. If it were as simple as saying "I want one" I'd have it.
My lawyer is the one who suggested if at all possible waiting to move fwd until I was working. I agree. There are a million reasons for it and I'm really not here to explain the minutae of my own situation.
I know how he will behave, I am just frustrated by it.
It's feeling a little heavy on the lecturing. The "when are you going to stop" I could do without. I'm going to always feel sad for my kids that their father is who he is and I came here to talk about it rather than react to his bs.
Also, he is is not "in and out" of the house. He spent 45 min here on Sunday. Prior to that I dictated when he came and I stayed while he visited. It's odd bc the messages are mixed here sometimes-- when he was here alone with them I was told to not let that occur... When I am here with him that's also bad. He's their father, I have no right (though I tried to get a RO and it was a collosal disaster) to keep him from seeing them and my own lawyer, knowing who AH is, his connections and his pathological lying, has TOLD ME wisely to not behave in ways that he and his lawyer can construe to be "alienating".
Anyone read the book Divorce Poison? The antics described in there are my AH and I am treading carefully. When I applied for the RO and should have gotten it, AH and his lawyer out and out lied, distorted and spun reality and were believed. That's what the divorce will be like too I have no doubt. If there's a way to get a RO bc someone emails and says they're going to spend money on an apt I'd love to hear how to do so.
Sometimes people just need to come here bc living with an alcoholic (even from afar and even when you don't respond) is too much to take. I'm having that day. That's all.