Hannah, if needing help with a problem like ours makes you crazy, the we are all of us here certifiably whacko. So what?
As for what folks might think, you will be surprised to learn that there are a lot of folks who have made decisions, like you have, to get better. There are also a lot of folks who wish that they could make the decision, like you have, to get better. There will be a third group that will respect the inner strength you have, even if they don't share your experience. There is a fourth group, but we none of us here at SR care what they think, and neither should you.
Keep posting here, Hannah.