Welcome to SR, amies. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this knowledge. I know it isn't easy as I've been there.
I think you wrote this because you are in pain and feel helpless. That is entirely normal and any non-addict feels that way. Addicts get to this place because they are addicted to alcohol or drugs or both. Many people become addicted to prescribed medication. Add alcohol to the mix and it takes a terrible toll on the body.
Please feel free to post as often as you want. We are here to support you. Do some reading around, especially in our Friends and Families fourms. You will find that this is not uncommon, and be sure to read the stickie posts at the top of the forum. There is a lot of helpful information there.