I refuse to believe I am powerless or insane
You may be looking at these words in too much of a black/white all or nothing manner. I have it "together" in many areas of life. However, in some areas I'm powerless. With alcohol if I start drinking I keep going until I'm drunk. I have many friends who I have observed to have 1 beer and then stop, I don't know how they do that. I don't have that power.
There are other areas of my life I'm powerless over. I have high blood pressure. I have found that no amount of meditation and thinking happy thoughts controls that. Since I'm powerless to control my blood pressure on my own I take medication and fortunately it's well controlled.
I'm also not insane, and there is no one who would describe me as insane. But I have done insane things. One example, waiting for the store to open so that I can buy a six pack and drink a couple of beers to ease my hangover before I go to work. That's insane!