Hi Tuffguy,
I agree with Red, don't "should" on yourself. You are reaching out for help and that is a big step. I didn't even know that I needed help. I figured someone should fix that alcoholic so I would be ok. I finally realized that the only one I could help was me, and I needed help to learn how to help me. That was where Al-Anon came in. Through meetings, literature, and a lot of people that understood what I was going through, I was able to begin to heal and grow. Whether we stay or go, I take me with me. Until I could take responsibility for my choices and decisions, I was doomed to make the same mistakes over and over. Al-Anon has allowed me to change and grow and learn. I don't have to be a victim of my life any more.
There is healing and hope for us if we are willing to reach out for it. We can find serenity and happiness no matter what others choose to do. I am glad you joined us. This forum has been a big part of my recovery.
To find an Al-Anon meeting in your area,
http://www.al-anon-alateen.org/ and select "Find a Meeting".
Hugs, Magic