Rich007

Hi i am new here.

I think i'm an alcoholic. I don't drink all the time but when i do its pretty compulsive. I don't blackout to the point i don't remember anything. I just find that i can easily in a "social" night put away 10+ beers. I get a little crazy and start saying things I would never usually say or mean.

I don't know if this is just some phase i'm going through or how far it will go. I know i used to drink a bit more when i was younger and going out to bars/clubs and did blackout a few times in those days. I know i have family that are alcoholics so I am a little concerned that i might be destined to the same thing just due to genetics.

I have a wife and kid now and i still want a social life (not going to bars/clubs, just hang out of friends or a football game party) but when i start drinking i don't like to stop until i'm ready to stop. I get in the zone and i seemingly always get into trouble with my wife. I just don't know how to stop and when im around others having a good time i don't like the good time to end.

I don't know what to do. I am almost to the point were i am going to quit going to social events that have alcohol because it doesn't really get me anywhere. I know i have a great time at the party and it feels good to release the mountains of stress i have, but it effects my life so much after the fact, when i go out of control.

I might not touch a beer for a week or two or longer.. but then if get invited to some get together i know i will have a week or two worth of beer in one night. Or if i have a really stressful week, i might just want to numb my head with some beer to make it go away.

Sometimes i feel life is getting so hard that drinking makes me feel happy again. I feel like when im not drinking im a bit of a jerk then when i drink im happy, a bit goofy, talkative, and a little obnoxiousness. But like i said i don't know how to stop when i start.