Notices

How bad am I?

Old 10-03-2011, 10:03 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 5
How bad am I?

Hi i am new here.

I think i'm an alcoholic. I don't drink all the time but when i do its pretty compulsive. I don't blackout to the point i don't remember anything. I just find that i can easily in a "social" night put away 10+ beers. I get a little crazy and start saying things I would never usually say or mean.

I don't know if this is just some phase i'm going through or how far it will go. I know i used to drink a bit more when i was younger and going out to bars/clubs and did blackout a few times in those days. I know i have family that are alcoholics so I am a little concerned that i might be destined to the same thing just due to genetics.

I have a wife and kid now and i still want a social life (not going to bars/clubs, just hang out of friends or a football game party) but when i start drinking i don't like to stop until i'm ready to stop. I get in the zone and i seemingly always get into trouble with my wife. I just don't know how to stop and when im around others having a good time i don't like the good time to end.

I don't know what to do. I am almost to the point were i am going to quit going to social events that have alcohol because it doesn't really get me anywhere. I know i have a great time at the party and it feels good to release the mountains of stress i have, but it effects my life so much after the fact, when i go out of control.

I might not touch a beer for a week or two or longer.. but then if get invited to some get together i know i will have a week or two worth of beer in one night. Or if i have a really stressful week, i might just want to numb my head with some beer to make it go away.

Sometimes i feel life is getting so hard that drinking makes me feel happy again. I feel like when im not drinking im a bit of a jerk then when i drink im happy, a bit goofy, talkative, and a little obnoxiousness. But like i said i don't know how to stop when i start.
Rich007 is offline  
Old 10-03-2011, 10:21 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
In my Own Little World
 
LotusBlossom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Champaign, IL
Posts: 368
First, if you think you have a problem, you very well probably have a problem. Second, even with the social events, go 30, 60, 90, 180 days without drinking. Someone will post up the DSMV definition of alcoholism soon, I'm sure.
LotusBlossom is offline  
Old 10-03-2011, 10:24 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 49
I don't know whether you're an alcoholic or not but please take some advice and quit now. It only gets a LOT harder, trust me. Everything I read reminds me of me 20 years ago.
unger894 is offline  
Old 10-03-2011, 10:33 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Gone In
 
BASEjumper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 223
You are showings sign of alcoholic behaviour, namely the inability to control the amount you drink once you start, and drinking despite it causing issues in your marriage. Having alcoholics in your family is a huge red flag, it pre-disposes you to alcoholism. If you want my opinion, I'd say you are in the early stages of alcoholism, when it starts causing problems but before it really starts taking things away from you.

I know it's hard to see it right now, but you can still go to social events, not drink and still have fun. I know I used to project my obsession with alcohol onto others, thinking they shared my obsession and everyone would notice I wasn't drinking. I came to find out others barely noticed. I did have a bit of discomfort at first, and people I used to drink with would ask why I wasn't drinking. I explained it away as it was causing me health problems.

You can make something up, or tell the truth, it's up to you. Remember that not touching a beer for a week or two doesn't mean you're safe. If you do have alcoholism, and with alcoholics in your family you may well, those periods will grow closer and closer together. If you choose to keep drinking, keep an eye on that, record it. It's progressive, so when the intervals start shortening, that should tell you something.

Be honest with yourself, and get help if you need it. Alcoholism doesn't have to take everything away first before one seeks help
BASEjumper is offline  
Old 10-03-2011, 12:49 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
dawnrunner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Texas, a state of mind
Posts: 380
One thing that really genuinely shocked me: Getting sober made my life 100% less stressful and difficult.

I had thought the reverse would be true: "Oh no! Mountains of problems and stress, no vodka to wash it away! I shall surely die!"

What an amazing thing it was to see the confusion and anger and frustration and sleeplessness all fold their tents and steal silently away, day by day, as I returned to my own self.

Best wishes to you in your journey, and take care of that precious child and your dear wife.
dawnrunner is offline  
Old 10-03-2011, 04:07 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Sudz No More's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Poconos PA
Posts: 1,544
Great job noticing for yourself before you get in too deep. All the flags are there Buddy, pretty soon you'll be trying to hide how much you really had to your wife. That's when the real fun begins... and ends.

Best to try and stop now while you still can.
Sudz No More is offline  
Old 10-03-2011, 05:37 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
CarolD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I've yet to meet an adult who said how proud and pleased they were that their parents were drinkers...

Blessings to the 3 of you...I sure hope you will soon quit
Welcome...
CarolD is offline  
Old 10-03-2011, 06:18 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
soberwingz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: North America
Posts: 162
Rich,

I applaud you for giving your drinking some insight at your stage in the game. I started as a social drinker much like you. Ended up isolated and drinking alone in my basement every night for years. At some point your drinking will get very important to you, and it will always be at your expense and the ones that love you.

Please continue to think through the process and its consequences.

Good luck!
soberwingz is offline  
Old 10-03-2011, 08:15 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
where the light is
 
gravity's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
Normal people don't drink 10+ beers at a time. I used to rationalize my drinking - work hard, play hard! There are so many better ways to relieve stress and have fun. Good luck!
gravity is offline  
Old 10-03-2011, 08:28 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,671
I've yet to meet an adult who said how proud and pleased they were that their parents were drinkers...

couldn't say it better myself
least is offline  
Old 10-03-2011, 08:40 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
How bad am I?
Pretty bad, honestly. It sounds like you lose control once you pick up that first drink. And yet you continue to pick up that first drink—despite marital issues, despite your family history, and despite the fact you've gotten to the point where you're basically happier drunk than you are sober.

You sound exactly like me a few years back. Except I guess you're smarter, because you're here, asking these questions. If you are like me, I really hope you stop soon. Because as bad as it is, it gets worse. I'm really grateful to be free of that nightmare now. Glad you found us, Rich.
ReadyAndAble is offline  
Old 10-03-2011, 08:58 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
ImReadyToQuit's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 456
Sounds like the definition of a problem drinker at this point.. That usually progresses into active alcoholism..
ImReadyToQuit is offline  
Old 10-03-2011, 10:23 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
CarolD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
soberwingz...Welcome to our recovery community...
CarolD is offline  
Old 10-04-2011, 05:18 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 5
Thanks for your inputs.

I guess what i need to ask is how does one go to events and control the problem?

Do i just not drink? I could just bring me a 2lt of dt.coke and try and act like the other sillies around me.

Do i try to teach me how to only have a few? the old saying when i was working for the gov was 1 drink per hour no more than 3 (that was the safe no drinking and driving range)

What sort of things do any of you do if you still drink to help control the level of drinking you do? Or is it just bad no matter what?

Like some have said im at the early stages i suppose.

I know i have conquered the no smoking (smoke free for 2 years now). even when i drink i dont smoke and i used to smoke a pack a night of drinking easy.

Now i just cant say no to beer as easy as smoking.
Rich007 is offline  
Old 10-04-2011, 07:19 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Hi, Rich.

If you can moderate—just drink a couple and leave it at that—then problem solved. But I'm guessing you tried that many times already?

I reached the conclusion that drinking was an all-or-nothing proposition for me. Once I had that first drink, all bets were off. Sometimes I could limit myself to a couple—at a work function, for example—but I didn't enjoy it. And I started drinking more at home, so I could cut loose without the consequences (yeah, right).

I think that's a common pattern. And like I said before, it gets worse. The truth is, normal drinkers don't have to try to moderate. They just do. They can take a drink, or leave it. No big deal. And stopping at a couple of drinks is not an effort—they actually don't want more (go figure).

Think about your smoking. Did you have to quit completely? Was it possible to go from a pack a day to just a smoke now and then?

Total sobriety seems like a crazy idea, I know. But it's pretty darn great as it turns out. Just like smoking, it's an adjustment, but it's worth it to break free of the cycle of obsession, regret, and worry. It's a lot more enjoyable than counting days, hours, and drinks....
ReadyAndAble is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:02 PM.