still a sick mess, and my mind's an absolute minefield today… but the death glaze is starting to fade from my eyes and things are looking a bit clearer. shuddering at the recklessness and close calls of the past forty plus days, i am both shocked and wildly grateful to be alive and free. earlier today i cancelled all of my plans for the weekend when it occurred to me that even if i'm well enough to leave the house then, i'll likely not be well enough to weather a party with an open bar. time to go underground for awhile. baby steps onward to day 4. thank you all for your support, you guys are awesome.