Hi David
I'm sorry you're struggling - have you any ideas why?
I found whenever I was struggling the best thing for me to do was reach out and find support.
The thing about 'white knuckling', for me at least, was that it took a lot of energy...I found it a lot easier to say 'screw it' when I was tired or demoralised.
Find some support, whether it's posting more here or AA or whatever.
90 days is great but it would be even greater if you could build on that
D