Holy Cow First you sound just like me! My husband and I are in exactly (and I mean EXACTLY) the same situation. I am 45 days sober and am still feeling the same way towards my hubby. Your husband sounds like mine... not "selfish" but "self centered"... Expecting you to make every decision, even about the most minor things. My husband worships the ground I walk on, would do anything for me, loves me unconditionally, is extremely intelligent, but wants me to be the one who "decides" everything, from where we go to eat, to what HE is wearing. We also both work from home which is great for my daughter but exhausting for me. If you have the money, I think a separate office is a great idea. I would love to do that but we aren't in a financial position to right now.
SO... I am trying to accept who he is. I am also trying not to mingle my alcohol problem with the relationship. I have found that I am so angry sometimes because I can't drink like a normal person that I want to blame it on someone... namely my hubby. That's not fair. It's so easy to take our frustrations out on someone else. My advice would be to take a good hard look at the relationship. Try to separate it from your sobriety and go from there. Believe me, I've been there and am still struggling BUT it is getting better. It can for you too.
JBB