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Day 10 Struggles

Old 09-27-2011, 09:31 PM
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Day 10 Struggles

I'm not gonna lie...my sobriety was in jeopardy because I am tempted to drink. I almost gave in. I couldn't believe it...maybe I didn't want to have to go through this but it's happened to me...these cravings for a drink...just one. I told myself I could control this time...what a lie. I am powerless.

I haven't had much energy yet. I am tired all the time. I have been eating healthy and getting plenty of rest. Please God help me to overcome my struggles.

I have been snippy towards my husband. He gets on my nerves. I feel horrible to treat him this way. We both are fortunate to work out of our home but that has it's drawbacks so we are now looking at renting office space. I guess I am snippy at him because of how often he tries to interrupt me during work for foolish things. I guess I can't wait until we do get office space and I have to do my best to tolerate him. I am sorry I have these feelings toward him.

It just seems like since I quit drinking we don't have much in common. Frustrating!
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Old 09-27-2011, 09:56 PM
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It's not easy to stay sober - if it was, we'd all just do it, I think.
the first few weeks can be hard - fatigue, irritability, cravings...it's tough.

I really recommend finding support...
if you're finding you need more support than SR there's a lot of reallife support out there...

have you considered it?

D
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Old 09-28-2011, 01:27 PM
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Holy Cow First you sound just like me! My husband and I are in exactly (and I mean EXACTLY) the same situation. I am 45 days sober and am still feeling the same way towards my hubby. Your husband sounds like mine... not "selfish" but "self centered"... Expecting you to make every decision, even about the most minor things. My husband worships the ground I walk on, would do anything for me, loves me unconditionally, is extremely intelligent, but wants me to be the one who "decides" everything, from where we go to eat, to what HE is wearing. We also both work from home which is great for my daughter but exhausting for me. If you have the money, I think a separate office is a great idea. I would love to do that but we aren't in a financial position to right now.

SO... I am trying to accept who he is. I am also trying not to mingle my alcohol problem with the relationship. I have found that I am so angry sometimes because I can't drink like a normal person that I want to blame it on someone... namely my hubby. That's not fair. It's so easy to take our frustrations out on someone else. My advice would be to take a good hard look at the relationship. Try to separate it from your sobriety and go from there. Believe me, I've been there and am still struggling BUT it is getting better. It can for you too.

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Old 09-29-2011, 01:15 AM
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Well start over...I gave in.

I was tempted....my whole life has been if I can deal with who I am...so had no choice to deal with that...was molested by an uncle during that process. Then came with dealing with me...had someone fall in love with me...regardless.

I'm a beautiful woman...i am cursed. No one ever really listens. I have been venting...and does anyone really listen? I can tell by the responses that I must be selfish.

I'm a beautiful person outside but I want to be a beautiful person inside. I had a man who pretended he loved my husbands company want to come home with us...thank goodness he didn't. He had enough respect for him he didn't.

I wan't to be beautiful inside and out!
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Old 09-29-2011, 01:15 AM
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I need help! I am hopeless!
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Old 09-29-2011, 02:52 AM
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Hi firstbuckles

I'm not sure how you got that you must be selfish by the responses - everyones been where you are - there's no need, or basis, for any of us to pass judgement on you, so please try and put those thoughts out of your head

All anyone has tried to do here is share their experience with you

A lot of us have had bad things in our past and present that we use alcohol to try and deal with.

A lot of us have found that it's very hard to give up that crutch and many of us have fallen a time or two - you're just like many of us...you're not hopeless.

The trick is to get back up and try again - widen your support base perhaps...find some help...

and have patience...this whole deal of helping you to feel beautiful all the way through can take a bit of time and effort...

have you thought of counselling to deal with some of these underlying issues, maybe?

You can do this firstbuckle - don't let yourself be defined by your first effort

D
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Old 09-29-2011, 05:42 AM
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It takes a while. Don't give up giving up. When you are at 10 days again remember your brain, body, soul, emotions etc etc are in the process of reorganising. That takes time. The changes in my first few months have been enormous. You can't hurry it, it takes what it takes.
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Old 09-29-2011, 07:50 AM
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firstbuckles - you ARE beautiful inside and out, but the drinking is making you feel like you are not! All of us are here for a reason, we need the love and support from people that are dealing with the same exact issues. We have all fallen... matter of fact I am back at Day 4 today. We can both get back up and start over together!!!
=)
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