sfemme,
I can totally relate to the internal battle your going through, I have been there too (probably still am there). But if your gut is telling you that he may not be truthful with you, you are probably right. Every time I suspected my addict bf of using, he was. Everytime I thought he was lying to me, he was. Our relationship has been filled with empty promises of rehabs, NA meetings, outpatient treatments and sober houses. I read an article not too long ago that said, if an addict puts terms and conditions on their recovery, they have not hit rock bottom and are not ready to recover. Unfortunately, addicts use us (their loved ones) as a tool to get what they want or need. Follow your gut feelings and listen to your head not your heart.