Delusions/ hallucinations...
just a thought.. I have seen persons (not even alcohol related) who could, when angry, BUILD UP things in their mind that others could easily see through. Sometimes, things originated in gossip or not..but they fixated on it, and repeated it to THEMSELF so many times,that to them, it became real.
Now, add alcohol on top of that mindset, and it is stunning what someone can come up with.
Every dispute I had with my abf...was when he was drunk, and he later remembered none of what he said. The things were cruel, malicious..and false. I defended myself ..or tried to, when he was sober (small window of time) and after he had taken days of refusing to talk to me, thus giving him days to wallow in his perceptions and blame me. Looking back, I suspect 99% was a defensive level of guilt, so strong, that he COULD NOT ACCEPT that his being drunk was the cause, and could not accept that I had done nothing wrong.
It became his reality, and for him, enough reason to conclude that he was "done" with me, and my "crap". There was no reasoning with him, probably because he also had reached the point of "I am damn well going to drink when I want, it isn't hurting anyone, and if she doesn't like it, she can leave".
Maybe it does not reach the level of seeing spiders on the wall hallucinating, but I think the dynamics is the same. In fact..I think the MORE you realize it is delusional..the MORE you respect yourself enough to confront it, and defend yourself...the worse it gets.
And...the more NORMAL you are, the greater the odds that you see it for what it really is, and the more angry you are, that it cannot be resolved. After all.. a normal person/guy, who loves YOU...would be capable of sitting down and admitting it was unfair/false/striking back, and apologize.
I think the others have responded more to knowing what you HAVE TO DO, because there is a child involved. You and I can sit down, and think this out, see it for what it really is...and the pain is still almost more than we can take.
Imagine a child being targeted with that kind of mentality, who has no understanding or way to defend his mind.
I can identify so much with the twisted thinking. What I don't have, is a child that HAS TO BE removed from that dysfunction, before it becomes ingrained in him.
I send you hugs.