Hi Pink,
so glad you are here! I too raised my boys drinking every night and being hungover every day. Like you, I managed to get everything done that needed to be done. I held it together so tightly that eventually I couldn't hang on any longer and everything came horribly undone. I was baker-acted and went to a 30 day treatment program. I am a teacher too, Pink, and you might be surprised as I was, to find that the support system is larger than you might think. I had so many rooting for me. There is no shame in getting help, there is only shame in staying stuck. You will like the woman you are without the beer, pink, trust me...you will love her, just give her a chance. You mentioned that you like to sew and make hair bows for your girls. Throw yourself into this or some similar hobby. I am a soapmaker and you should have seen the hundreds of bars of soap cut and curing all over my house when I first stopped drinking LOL I went on to design labels, sell at the farmers market...I have some pretty loyal customers, but more importantly a creative outlet that led to many other creative outlets. I agree with the other posters about seeing a doctor. Hang in there...my thoughts are with you on your journey ...