Pinkflamingirl

I am on day one of my recovery...again. I have read several threads and have many of the symptoms of alcoholism that some of you folks have mentioned on here. Some of these include, but are not limited to, blackouts, hangovers, fatigue, memory loss, restless sleep, nightmares (when I dream), etc...

I drink sometimes up to 4 days a week. The number of drinks is never less than 6 and most of the time I get to the point where I have so many I lose count. I have three amazing girls who deserve better. I keep it together as well as I can. I make it to work everyday, make lunches, give baths, prep clothes, get everybody off and ready for school each day. Most days, this all gets pulled off while I'm either drunk or hungover.

I have been drinking my whole life, since I was about 14 (25 yrs.). I don't remember it not being a part of my life. It was in my house as long as I can remember as both of my parent were drinkers. Lately, I have noticed a vast progression in my drinking patterns. My husband took a job over the road so I am alone with everything (and plenty of opportunities to drink). Needless to say, stress is at a fever pitch so I am never shy of plenty of "really good reasons" to drink. I am my own worst enemy...

So enough about me. Here are my questions for anyone who has some solid advise. What if I don't like who I am without the beer? What do I do with the time I could potentially gain? Idle hands are the devils play-place and all.
What do I do if I have awful DT's and have no other adult around for the kids? I have so many concerns and a very small support system. Any help out there?

Thanks

Dee74

Welcome Pinkflamingirl

I was scared of that too...I'd been drinking for 20 years...

I found, not so much a new me, but an older me, the me I used to be before I started drinking so much...

I understand the fear but I don't think there's anything to be afraid of. Not one of us here would stay in recovery if we felt we were losing out on the deal


The world's your oyster - seriously, you're only limited by your imagination - what are your interests and hobbies? what would you like to do?

that's why it's important to see your Dr and discuss quitting with them - get their advice.

You'd know as well as I do it's not easy to quit - but we all deserve better than we allow ourselves when we're drinking.

It is possible to quit and stay quit- and I've never regretted it

You'll find a lot of support here - and a lot of ideas on where to find other support too if you think you need it

you're not alone - welcome

D

ElvisInASkirt

I stopped drinking 2 months ago when I realized that alcohol was stifling my world view. Alcohol only wants more alcohol. Alcohol reduces your world to a prison cell and then offers you the opportunity to break out of that cell but in turn makes your cell even smaller.

I've been using all of that extra time I have now to work on myself and a business. You'll find something great to do if you give it a chance. If you continue drinking it will get harder and harder to find the answers to your problems.

BTW, coming here is the best thing you could do in regards to a support system!!!

Terminally Unique

A more important question is: do you like who you are now with the beer?

Most doctors can provide you with a taper script for alcohol detox which will prevent this and most, though not all, of the discomfort. It takes about 4-5 days, and can often be done on an outpatient basis, but you might certainly want to let someone know you are detoxing in case you need help.

Do you have any friends close by that you could trust with this?

Hevyn

Hello Pinkflamingirl, and welcome to a wonderful place where we all understand! I felt instant relief when I came here and began to open up about my problem. No one in my daily life could even begin to understand what I was going through.

It sounds like you are miserable with the way your life is right now. Why not see what it's like without getting numb, and ending up hungover and sick? For years I clung to the idea that booze was bringing me comfort and relaxation. In fact, it was doing just the opposite - I was an anxiety-filled wreck.

As Dee said, talk to your doctor about quitting if possible. My blood pressure spiked dangerously, among other things. You can have a whole new life - and we'll be here for you!

Pinkflamingirl

Thanks guys! @ Dee- I love to sew and make beautiful hair bows for my daughters and their friends. As far as the doctor goes...I live in a very small rural community where everybody knows your business if you let them. For that reason, I drink at my mothers or in private. Rarely in public because I can't really remember what I did and I am a teacher in our local HS. I have to be very careful. My close friends don't even know the extent of this. That is also a big source of stress. Like I said...itty bitty support system. I have to try to do this as low key as possible. I am so confused and worried. @ Dee and Elvis -Thank you so much for being here for me to talk to. This place mey just be the blessing I need.

Pinkflamingirl

All my friends are drinkers too. We all grew up drinking together on gravel roads in high school. Not a one that I fully trust with full disclosure...

Terminally Unique

Do you trust your mother? Perhaps she could help you taper down the alcohol the old fashioned way? You don't want to do that by yourself.

Pinkflamingirl

I drink with my mother... She knows I have trouble stopping so it could be an option but she had a stroke several years ago and has limited mobility so she is useful if I take the girls to her house but her house is a trigger.

Dee74

I understand the need for confidentiality...but you really have to weigh that against the possibility of problems in detox.

A lot of people have no problems - but some do...and there's no real way to predict which group you may fall under.

I was one of the unlucky ones...I wish I had talked things over with a Dr.

Can you go to a different town if there's no local Dr you trust?

Tapering never worked for me - I don't recommend it - but of course ultimately all we can do here is share our experience...the choice is yours

D

Terminally Unique

You said that you drink at your house too, though. I don't know what to tell you, but Dee's idea of finding a doctor in another town is not bad, since the detox can often be done on an outpatient basis. I would, however, highly recommend having someone watch the kids during the detox.

Pinkflamingirl

This sight is awesome. I am already breathing. I had and still have a lot to get off my chest... Feels really good.

artsoul

Welcome pink!

I totally understand the fear of getting sober.... I'm a single mom and have spent many mornings drinking kids to school hungover and anxious. Alcohol seemed like the only thing I had to look forward to. I love my profession (artist), but with the economy it's been difficult.

I promise you, though, that getting sober was the best thing I ever did. It takes some work getting through the cravings, but it gets better - and easier - as you go along. Try not to think too far ahead about things..... take it one day and one step at a time. Be patient with yourself, too.

Keep reading and posting - you're not alone in this!

artsoul

oops - I meant "driving kids to school" not "drinking kids." !!!

freshstart57

Welcome to SR, Pinkflamingirl, and welcome to the club. There are hundreds of us just like you around here. This is a great place to find information and support.

Please be careful and as clearheaded as possible when you stop drinking. Do what you must to have someone help you and your kids for at least four days. See a Dr.

A few things became very clear to me after I quit drinking.

Alcohol was the cause of my depression.
Alcohol was the cause of my anxiety.
Alcohol was the cause of my stress.
Alcohol was the cause of my boredom.
Alcohol was the cause of my fear of sobriety.
Alcohol caused my addiction.
Alcohol is the addiction.

Keep us posted, Pinkflamingirl.

Pinkflamingirl

@Art...That was a stinkin funny faux pas!! @ fresh,,,I couldn't agree more. You guys have really lifted me up today

artsoul

I know, right?

I sure I would have drank my kids to school if I thought I could have gotten away with it........

CarolD

Welcome...

I sure hope you will find a way to be sober...but lasting sobriety is more difficult to do.
Typically de tox is finished in 3or 4 days...unless you are useing other drugs that are addictive too.

Your husband could watch the girls when he is home. Your close friends could too...expecially if they have children of the same age.

I understand you are trying to keep this a secret but Gosh! no wonder you are stressed to the max...
Lies were part of the drinking me...they have no place in my recovery.

You do smell of alcohol and you are buying it somewhere ...even if you rotate stores..someone is seeing you.

fallingwater

Welcome Pink! Good luck with your journey. I am on day 4 once again and feeling better and more upbeat. Remind yourself what is good in your life and why it is good and how you can keep it that way. That is what I am trying to do. Write it down and keep it in your pocket

sugarbear1

You aren't drinking 7 days a week...are you shaking on the days you don't drink?