Comparison
D6 is learning about never talking to strangers/taking candy from strangers etc... kind of stuff in Health class at school. She's been wanting to "practice" at home at dinner time. So I pretend to be the stranger and tempt she and D3 with all sorts of promises that sound too good to be true or dangle things that they really want in front of them to see how they'll respond. They think it's great fun to shout no and it struck me this morning after playing this game that this is a great analogy for what it's like to try and say no to an A's promises.
I was posting on Yellow Birdy's thread about the promises A's make us and how so many of us time and time again choose to believe them bc we so desperately want what is being promised that we're willing to throw caution aside for the words that are being spoken/promised.
So, it struck me that the promises A's make to us aren't really all that different than the stranger trying to lure the kid to the car (I'm not comparing A's to child predators in case there's any confusion). I'm comparing kids who are supposed to resist the strangers' lures (candy, new puppy, trip to disney world-- these have been my creative tests to my girls) to those of us in r/s with A's who know better than to run toward the "car" (A's promises) but continue to do so anyway.
Emphasizing to my D's how important it is to always stay safe, no matter how hard it is to say no or how tempting the treat being offered is made me realize that if I expect my kids to being able say no, obviously I need to apply this to my own life too.
I've run toward my AH's promises so many times, knowing better each time, that I can't keep track. I haven't done so recently but am just reflecting on the past AND aware, with my anniversary approaching, that AH may well be full of fake remorse and promises and I am trying to prepare myself mentally to be able to say no and stick to it no matter how hard it is.
Anyway, for me this analogy made it a lot clearer to me that regardless of how much I WANT to believe the promises or how REAL they sound THIS TIME, I need to be like my kids with the stranger in a car and say no every single time to protect myself.
So, if this is useful to anyone else I'm glad-- Just wanted to share...