firecallie are you the only child? Is this only your responsibility? This is a terrible position to be in. My AF was high functioning until the end so we never had to face this situation until the law stepped in and incarcerated him at 80 years old.
But my sister, she was finally diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia and we had a long hard time getting her admitted to a facility that could make a difference. It is very hard to get someone admitted against their will, it took decades and a court order for more than a 30 day watch. And when she did admit herself she would check herself out the minute she got balanced out. She finally did get so bad that she is living her life out now in a facility that she will never get out of.
I guess my advice would be that if your Mom is near the end, in your opinion, then it would definitely be safer for her to spend her last days in a facility.
Let the hate/blame fall where it may, it's not real -it's just the disease talking. My alcoholic Dad never 'forgave' me for my supposed errors and I really never cared, I didn't need it. Find solace in the group here, in meetings, any support system you have and in God.
Let us know how it's going.