Originally Posted by
scarletrose 
I am so thankful for all of your insight and opinions. I agree with all of you that only I can decide whether or not I have an addiction to alcohol. While I believe that I exhibit some really unhealthy behaviors while drinking, it's almost impossible for me to envision myself drinking uncontrollably on a daily basis. I hope that doesn't come off as being defensive, it just doesn't fit my personality type. I am an athlete and run/work out 4-5 times a week. I would never choose alcohol over my kids, husband or my fitness. I am just feeling concerned because I am really hard on myself and want to be the best person I can be. When I am drinking, I am not that person. It's just hard because I am trying to learn whether or not it's a matter of not wanting to break up with alcohol or not being able to. Like someone mentioned for me to take a three month break. I start thinking...well, I can't do that. I'm going to a football game in a couple of weeks and I always tailgate. Or I am chairing an Octoberfest and there will be so much good beer there. Alcohol is so ingrained in my life. It's part of my lifestyle. I guess just saying that means that I have a problem. I am going to try and abstain and see how it goes. Thanks for welcoming me.
I am an athlete, I didn't start off drinking everyday, I never really chose alcohol over my kids or my wife. But alcohol was so deeply ingrained in my life that the thought of not drinking forever seemed impossible. That being said alcohol continued to get me drunk, because I couldn't always moderate my drinking, once I started drinking. After an embarassing weekend and a bad hangover I would swear I was never going to drink again, but the following week always found me with a bottle in my hand. This went on for well over 15 years. Then I found more time on my hands and more money in my pocket, then that weekly binge turned into a couple times a week.... It progressed. Everytime I thought about quitting I had a football tailgate or a house party, or a holiday celebration or a concert or a beach party. I always had an excuse as to why I couldn't quit now. Looking back I realize this is where my mental obsession with alcohol came in. I needed my alcohol to socialize and be like everyone else and to have fun at these fun events. Well guess what I attend all the events sober now, and the only one who really cared to begin with was me. I'm still fun, and I still enjoy myself, I just don't close down the bar and embarrass myself and feel crappy about it the next week anymore.
Alcoholism comes in all shapes and sizes, just because you don't drink everyday or in the morning doesn't mean that you don't have a problem with alcohol. That being said many people will never recognize or admit that alcohol causes problems in their lives.
I also found out that the depression that I thought I had for the last 15 years was caused by my drinking. Once I got rid of the booze for a couple of months my depression went away....sort of funny being I thought I was drinking to make me happy.
