Am I an alcoholic?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: La La Land
Posts: 503
Hi and welcome Scarletrose.
No one can tell you that you are an alcoholic, that is a decision that you have to make. However, many things that you said in your post stick out to me and are suggestive of a progressive problem with alcohol. Alcoholism is a progressive disease. You describe many things that have NOT happened to you...YET. Why not try giving up alcohol for a period of time and see what things in your life change.
Keep posting and reading - there is lots of support here.
No one can tell you that you are an alcoholic, that is a decision that you have to make. However, many things that you said in your post stick out to me and are suggestive of a progressive problem with alcohol. Alcoholism is a progressive disease. You describe many things that have NOT happened to you...YET. Why not try giving up alcohol for a period of time and see what things in your life change.
Keep posting and reading - there is lots of support here.
If you're not sure if you're an alcoholic, try stopping drinking for a set period of time and see how it goes. If you're not an alcoholic, it won't be a problem at all.
If you are not able to stop drinking once you start and you are blacking out frequently, those are signs of alcoholism, but it's up to you to decide whether or not you need to stop drinking. And, keep in mind, that alcoholism is a progressive disease, and it will get worse.
If you are not able to stop drinking once you start and you are blacking out frequently, those are signs of alcoholism, but it's up to you to decide whether or not you need to stop drinking. And, keep in mind, that alcoholism is a progressive disease, and it will get worse.
Even if I only have 3-4 drinks and I have blacked out more times than I can count in the last year.
This is a problem.
However, I do not have withdrawal symptoms from alcohol.
Hangovers are just mini withdrawals.
I don't wake up craving it.
No one really craves it until they can't have it.
And I could never imagine hiding bottles from myself or lying about my drinking.
I never hid bottle from myself, I hid them from my wife because I told her I was quitting 100's of times. If you tell someone you will quit drinking to make them happy you might find yourself lying eventually.
For example, there is so much alcohol in my house right now and I don't sit around thinking about it all day.
Most people don't obsess or really think about alcohol if they have it always available.
It's just that when I drink, I drink too much. I guess I am worried because my behavior has been inappropriate lately when I drink. I have been flirting and saying inappropriate things when drunk. I am a wife of 10 years with three young kids. This isn't what I want to be. I don't want to stop drinking, but think maybe I should. Does all of this sound like alcoholic behavior to you guys?
If you are coming to a website looking for help, and you are engaging in behavior you are embarrassed of regularly when you are drinking you probably know the answer.
This is a problem.
However, I do not have withdrawal symptoms from alcohol.
Hangovers are just mini withdrawals.
I don't wake up craving it.
No one really craves it until they can't have it.
And I could never imagine hiding bottles from myself or lying about my drinking.
I never hid bottle from myself, I hid them from my wife because I told her I was quitting 100's of times. If you tell someone you will quit drinking to make them happy you might find yourself lying eventually.
For example, there is so much alcohol in my house right now and I don't sit around thinking about it all day.
Most people don't obsess or really think about alcohol if they have it always available.
It's just that when I drink, I drink too much. I guess I am worried because my behavior has been inappropriate lately when I drink. I have been flirting and saying inappropriate things when drunk. I am a wife of 10 years with three young kids. This isn't what I want to be. I don't want to stop drinking, but think maybe I should. Does all of this sound like alcoholic behavior to you guys?
If you are coming to a website looking for help, and you are engaging in behavior you are embarrassed of regularly when you are drinking you probably know the answer.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
I wouldn't worry too much about the "alcoholic" label. Focus on the obvious. If something you are doing is causing you problems or emotional distress, wouldn't it be wise to stop doing it?
If you want to get an idea of how dependent on it you are, though, try quitting for three months. If you are, you'll hear that little voice in your head telling you to drink loud and clear in no time.
If you want to get an idea of how dependent on it you are, though, try quitting for three months. If you are, you'll hear that little voice in your head telling you to drink loud and clear in no time.
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 189
I am 37 and have been drinking since I was 15 years old. I have always loved to party and get drunk. I don't think that I have any deep rooted issues that started me drinking. I just really enjoy alcohol. The problem is that in the last couple of years I find that my preoccupation with alcohol is unhealthy. I don't drink everyday, definitely every week, but a lot of times when I drink I don't seem to have an "off" button. Once I start, I really don't want to stop and I end up the next day with guilt, anxiety and grief over what I may have done or said. I have been having terrible memory issues when I drink. Even if I only have 3-4 drinks and I have blacked out more times than I can count in the last year. However, I do not have withdrawal symptoms from alcohol. I don't wake up craving it. I do not drink alone. And I could never imagine hiding bottles from myself or lying about my drinking. For example, there is so much alcohol in my house right now and I don't sit around thinking about it all day. It's just that when I drink, I drink too much. I guess I am worried because my behavior has been inappropriate lately when I drink. I have been flirting and saying inappropriate things when drunk. I am a wife of 10 years with three young kids. This isn't what I want to be. I don't want to stop drinking, but think maybe I should. Does all of this sound like alcoholic behavior to you guys?
If it's causing problems in your life I'd suggest giving it up for a period of time, say three months. Serious problems with alcohol arent' really about what you drink or how often, it's what happens to you when you drink. I was an all day every day drinker and finally gave it up for good almost two years ago. I feel so free not having any dependance on a chemical. Try a sober life for a while and see how you like it.
Welcome to the family! :ghug3
Welcome to the family! :ghug3
You don't have to be an alcoholic to want to give up drinking in order to improve your life and self-esteem. I didn't know if I ws an alcoholic for the first few months I was involved in this website and other recovery programmes, I just knew I wanted to quit and I couldn't.
People who don't have a problem with alcohol wouldn't even think about the alcohol. When you start switching to soda instead of beer or whatever, you'll probably find that a lot of other people do too. It was the biggest surprise of my life to find that not everyone drank a lot. Many people sit on one drink for an hour, or more! Or just drink diet coke. Revelation, I tell you! Keep an eye out for those non-drinkers and plonk yourself near them perhaps.
The thing about alcoholism is that it doesn't skip over you just because you have a healthy lifestyle and good intentions. It's a disease and you don't get to choose whether or not you have it. It is a progressive disease - chances are if you continue drinking it will get worse and over the next few years you'll probably find yourself drinking more when you do drink, even if you don't end up drinking every day, but this last scenario is fairly common.
If you look at your history of drinking, do you drink more now than you did 2, 5, 10 years ago? I started out drinking with my friends when we went out on weekends and didn't give alcohol a second thought during the week and didn't drink at home. Then I moved to the city and started going out after work and so started drinking during the week, which progressed to drinking at home, which progressed to drinking daily, which progressed to drinking to black out daily. This was a progression of 25 years.
Regardless, it doesn't matter if you're an alcoholic or not. You're in the right place if you want support to quit. You'll feel like a million bucks and will soon get to a place where you don't miss it or want it.
The thing about alcoholism is that it doesn't skip over you just because you have a healthy lifestyle and good intentions. It's a disease and you don't get to choose whether or not you have it. It is a progressive disease - chances are if you continue drinking it will get worse and over the next few years you'll probably find yourself drinking more when you do drink, even if you don't end up drinking every day, but this last scenario is fairly common.
If you look at your history of drinking, do you drink more now than you did 2, 5, 10 years ago? I started out drinking with my friends when we went out on weekends and didn't give alcohol a second thought during the week and didn't drink at home. Then I moved to the city and started going out after work and so started drinking during the week, which progressed to drinking at home, which progressed to drinking daily, which progressed to drinking to black out daily. This was a progression of 25 years.
Regardless, it doesn't matter if you're an alcoholic or not. You're in the right place if you want support to quit. You'll feel like a million bucks and will soon get to a place where you don't miss it or want it.
Scarlet, someone put it to me this way, if you think you might be an alcoholic, you probably are. The analogy she used was "virgins don't take pregnancy tests."
You sound so much like I was at your age, 9 years ago. Three young children, married. Drinking weekly, not hiding it from anyone. Bad hangovers and blackouts, but I didnt drink in the morning, and I didn't ever drink and drive, or drink at work. I could not have imaged doing any of those things. Those were all "yets". I have done them all now.
You sound so much like I was at your age, 9 years ago. Three young children, married. Drinking weekly, not hiding it from anyone. Bad hangovers and blackouts, but I didnt drink in the morning, and I didn't ever drink and drive, or drink at work. I could not have imaged doing any of those things. Those were all "yets". I have done them all now.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Hi, scarletrose.
As others noted, only you can decide. But I will say your description sounds A LOT like me—and yeah, I'm an alcoholic, no question about it.
Regardless, I think Terminally Unique pretty much nailed it. It seems like you have every reason to quit regardless of what label you slap on it. If you find it's no big deal to go without for a few months, then great. But if that's a challenge... well, I think the harder it is to quit, the more we need to quit. At least that's my experience.
Glad you found us. You'll get a lot of info and support here.
As others noted, only you can decide. But I will say your description sounds A LOT like me—and yeah, I'm an alcoholic, no question about it.
Regardless, I think Terminally Unique pretty much nailed it. It seems like you have every reason to quit regardless of what label you slap on it. If you find it's no big deal to go without for a few months, then great. But if that's a challenge... well, I think the harder it is to quit, the more we need to quit. At least that's my experience.
Glad you found us. You'll get a lot of info and support here.
I've had friends ask me the same question and no, I can't answer it either.
My advise to them if they won't abstain is to try "controlled drinking" for 30-90 days depending on their situation. What could it hurt if you're not an alcoholic?
People more educated then me should be consulted before trying something like this though.
Welcome BTW
My advise to them if they won't abstain is to try "controlled drinking" for 30-90 days depending on their situation. What could it hurt if you're not an alcoholic?
People more educated then me should be consulted before trying something like this though.
Welcome BTW
I am so thankful for all of your insight and opinions. I agree with all of you that only I can decide whether or not I have an addiction to alcohol. While I believe that I exhibit some really unhealthy behaviors while drinking, it's almost impossible for me to envision myself drinking uncontrollably on a daily basis. I hope that doesn't come off as being defensive, it just doesn't fit my personality type. I am an athlete and run/work out 4-5 times a week. I would never choose alcohol over my kids, husband or my fitness. I am just feeling concerned because I am really hard on myself and want to be the best person I can be. When I am drinking, I am not that person. It's just hard because I am trying to learn whether or not it's a matter of not wanting to break up with alcohol or not being able to. Like someone mentioned for me to take a three month break. I start thinking...well, I can't do that. I'm going to a football game in a couple of weeks and I always tailgate. Or I am chairing an Octoberfest and there will be so much good beer there. Alcohol is so ingrained in my life. It's part of my lifestyle. I guess just saying that means that I have a problem. I am going to try and abstain and see how it goes. Thanks for welcoming me.
Alcoholism comes in all shapes and sizes, just because you don't drink everyday or in the morning doesn't mean that you don't have a problem with alcohol. That being said many people will never recognize or admit that alcohol causes problems in their lives.
I also found out that the depression that I thought I had for the last 15 years was caused by my drinking. Once I got rid of the booze for a couple of months my depression went away....sort of funny being I thought I was drinking to make me happy.
Hi scarletrose! You've had some great responses, & I'm so glad to see you're being open minded about the advice.
When I was in my 30's I still drank the way you describe. Unlike you, I wasn't worried about it & didn't question my habits. Many years down the road, alcohol had almost destroyed me. I was drinking all day, and couldn't see a way out. This won't have to happen to you - you're taking action now. Congratulations for seeing the light.
When I was in my 30's I still drank the way you describe. Unlike you, I wasn't worried about it & didn't question my habits. Many years down the road, alcohol had almost destroyed me. I was drinking all day, and couldn't see a way out. This won't have to happen to you - you're taking action now. Congratulations for seeing the light.
Scarletrose,
The two questions outlined in the Big Book of AA (Pg. 21 para. 2 & Pg. 34 para. 2) clearly define the difference between the heavy drinker and the REAL alcoholic.
Qu. 1 - Can you control the amount you drink once you start to drink?
Qu. 2 - Can you stop for 1 year under your own resources (ie. No meetings, No Meds, No therapy, No substitution)
If you answer no to both or either of these questions then you are a Real alcoholic.
Its that simple
:uzi2:
The two questions outlined in the Big Book of AA (Pg. 21 para. 2 & Pg. 34 para. 2) clearly define the difference between the heavy drinker and the REAL alcoholic.
Qu. 1 - Can you control the amount you drink once you start to drink?
Qu. 2 - Can you stop for 1 year under your own resources (ie. No meetings, No Meds, No therapy, No substitution)
If you answer no to both or either of these questions then you are a Real alcoholic.
Its that simple
:uzi2:
Scarletrose,
The two questions outlined in the Big Book of AA (Pg. 21 para. 2 & Pg. 34 para. 2) clearly define the difference between the heavy drinker and the REAL alcoholic.
Qu. 1 - Can you control the amount you drink once you start to drink?
Qu. 2 - Can you stop for 1 year under your own resources (ie. No meetings, No Meds, No therapy, No substitution)
If you answer no to both or either of these questions then you are a Real alcoholic.
Its that simple
:uzi2:
The two questions outlined in the Big Book of AA (Pg. 21 para. 2 & Pg. 34 para. 2) clearly define the difference between the heavy drinker and the REAL alcoholic.
Qu. 1 - Can you control the amount you drink once you start to drink?
Qu. 2 - Can you stop for 1 year under your own resources (ie. No meetings, No Meds, No therapy, No substitution)
If you answer no to both or either of these questions then you are a Real alcoholic.
Its that simple
:uzi2:
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
I don't think any of us can answer your question. Are some of your behaviors typical of an alcoholic? yes. and could some of those things you said you can't imagine doing happen? yes.
How about you not drink for a period of time. 30 days, 60 days, a year? See how it goes.
How about you not drink for a period of time. 30 days, 60 days, a year? See how it goes.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I've yet to meet an adult who said how pleased and proud they were that they had drinking parents.
I too was a blackout drinker...it got me into all sorts of dangerous situations.
As soon as I quit...so did the blackouts and I no longer worried about the events of the drinking period.
A huge plus for me... Viola! no more guilt.
Welcome to SR...
I too was a blackout drinker...it got me into all sorts of dangerous situations.
As soon as I quit...so did the blackouts and I no longer worried about the events of the drinking period.
A huge plus for me... Viola! no more guilt.
Welcome to SR...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
Don't think about if your an alcoholic or not. Its just a word and it does not sovoe anything. From what I red it seem to me you do have a drinking problem. Just by coming to SR you know this too. You have a few options. One is to quit drinking all together. Two is to stop drinking for a while to get your health and life straighten up. While can be a month or a year, whatever seem enough for you to get our life back on track. Or three, don't stop and do what you did before. Or four, control your drinking and stop getting drunk.
Good luck and welcome to SR.
Good luck and welcome to SR.
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