Scarlet, someone put it to me this way, if you think you might be an alcoholic, you probably are. The analogy she used was "virgins don't take pregnancy tests."
You sound so much like I was at your age, 9 years ago. Three young children, married. Drinking weekly, not hiding it from anyone. Bad hangovers and blackouts, but I didnt drink in the morning, and I didn't ever drink and drive, or drink at work. I could not have imaged doing any of those things. Those were all "yets". I have done them all now.