Risingsun,
I am soooo sorry that you have had to live this way. the good news is, you dont have to be like them.
It isn't your fault. They are sick. They will do this, no matter what. The best thing for everyone, especially you, is for you to get out of there. And to get counsel, so you can shed the nasty awful influence of the bad memories. You should never have had to live that way. And who can blame a child for being angry and resorting to hitting, when he is living in a He!! like that? My sister once hit my mom in the chest, for coming at her after she realized that my sister had put water in the vodka , hoping to lessen the he!! my mom put her through nightly. my sister is the most meek person ever. and now, would not hurt a fly. it only surprised my mom, did not hurt her, but gave her a shock!
Please , think of finding a meeting . like alanon. family members of alcoholics. you would find support and perhaps some connections that can help you find a way to move out. Get yourself some good counselling, so you can put this nightmare behind yourself, and get out and have yourself the kind of life you want. something else to focus on, besides the home life there. no child should have to see a parent naked, in that situation it would be shocking and totally you have been a victim of this abuse, not the cause of it.
I send hugs, and hope that you will do something each day to move forward and out of there. you can have a good life. You may however need help shedding the dysfunctional atmosphere that your parents have thoughtlessly put you in. if you have a job, and health care you might have mental health provisions?
my best to you, prayers and good wishes for good things -whatever you desire.
hugs
chicory