I kinda wonder sometimes about the anonymity of SR (and any other forum similar). I wonder if I might have done better with face-to-face meetings? Maybe not had so many times I used "just one last time." But... it still worked, and I'm not convinced face-to-face meetings would have made me feel more responsible about quitting. Even at a face-to-face meeting I wouldn't know any of those people, and wouldn't feel I owed them something. This is a standard I set for myself and other people be damned, it's not their life, it's not their recovery. Wanting to please other people, wanting to be liked, was part of the reason I started doing dope. So wanting to blend in with another crowd almost felt like I wouldn't be changing much, just sweeping the problem under the carpet where it would wait for me. I needed a place to discuss, not people to be responsible to.
And then a strange thing happened: even though I didn't really come here to fit into another group... I kinda felt like I did.