Hey risingsun, I'm so sorry that the counselling didn't go well. Obviously it was a big mistake on the psych's part getting your mother in there. It is true that it can take awhile for meds to kick in and they often have to switch you until they find one that works. For myself I don't believe that antidepressants mean that you need to take them for life. With my being bipolar I was first diagnosed with depression/anxiet and they put me on SSRI's and it made me worse without a mood stabilizer. By the way most of the mood stabilizers are epilepsy drugs. I'm on lamictal.
I'll tell you how I dealt with the issues of being raised by an alcoholic father. I hated him. I went to an addiction counsellor. You need a counsellor who knows addiction. I'd been to regular therapists before and they didn't address those issues. I came out of the ACOA'c therapy accepting that my father had done the best with what he had. I'm not saying the pain went away but I was able to move on and quit being a victim. I own my own problems now. There are ACOA groups which are not affiliated with AA. I have never been comfortable with working a "program". Maybe the psych you were seeing can hook you up with some referrals.
I've read that 80% of people with MI have had traumatic childhoods. Being raise in a home with a hoarder and an A is traumatic but the blame game isn't going to help you. Your parents are likely MI. Most alcoholics suffer from depression but they often don't know which came first. I know I self-medicated and I have no clue how I'm not an alcoholic/addict today. Once the bp was treated the self-medication wasn't neccessary anymore.
If you're convinced that the depression was an isolated incident and there's nothing chronic going on then deal with what's going on in that house. I was away from home when I did the work in ACOA counselling and believe me it was work but so worth it.