Thanks for your post and your utter honest posting. I can relate to a lot of the emotion you express (and you do it much more clearly and succintly than I!) and this post really hit me.
I am glad for you that you came to the realization/epiphany you did and I myself got a lot out of reading your story. Thank you.
Looking fwd to my day of "2 phone calls" and being free of the weight on my shoulders bc it's still there a lot. Feeling guilt for not being caring enough toward AH and feeling like a b*itch for not playing the codie game with him. I guess it's baby steps though right? First stop the codie crap then work on the codie thinking...
One last thank you for your post!