Happy Friday to you, T!
And I know you'll feel better and better the less you let him engage you. I try to remind myself that AXH has already created his little fictitious reality where he is the victim and everyone else (especially I) is a villain. I can reason, beg, cry, explain, and it's not going to make any difference: He's living in the universe he created, and I can't convince him to see things from my perspective any more than I can convince him that his drinking affected me and our children. He's safe in his little story, and he has no incentive to get out of it because it would require him to take responsibility.
I hope you have a peaceful weekend!!!