I guess the silver lining is that yes, I kept my cool and I dealt with D6 the best I could and I could see her feeling more relieved when I finally put her to bed.
It just breaks my heart into a zillion little pieces to know that this won't be the last time the girls are told "I can't see you, I am breaking plans with you etc... bc of Mommy" and to them, that's reality. I don't care that they are mad at me. I care that they are hurting bc despite AH's **** behavior toward me, he has generally been good to the girls and they adore him. So, when he bails on them or shows up and then runs out, the pain that that causes them is written all over them and it makes me sadder than anything I've ever felt before.