I should add that I think that today, all our lives are much better then what they would have been had I not left. Had I stayed nothing would have changed for the better. Things would have only gotten worse for all of us so even though we had a rough year, I see it as the right decision for my family in the long run.
I wanted a solution that would not negatively impact my kids at all. Well there wasn't one that existed. That is life sometimes. “We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.” which is a quote by Randy Pausch that I like. I sat for a long time waiting for different cards before I finally realized that despite my deepest wish, the cards were not changing. I had to play the hand I was dealt and so do the kids. It hurts to know that I dealt some of their cards to them but we just do the best we can, in today.